How To Stop Worrying And Start Living by Dale Carnegie – Book Summary

We all feel much stress in our day-to-day lives. Be it related to relationships, career, or financial problems; it seems to be a constant hindrance from enjoying our lives. We do not live happily because we do not stop worrying. In this best-selling self-help book namely ‘How To Stop Worrying And Start Living’, author Dale Carnegie gives some helpful tips to combat stress and live our lives to the fullest.

This book is full of practical solutions to worrying situations. It will help in reducing your career and financial worries, as well as dealing with emotional problems. It will also lead to the reader having a better outlook towards life in general. Additional advice on how to avoid fatigue as well as how to deal with criticism is also there, along with how to go about choosing a career path.

 

1- Be Sure To Live In The Present To Stop Worrying

We should all aim towards living in “day-tight compartments”. This means that we should focus on the present, instead of being stuck in the past or not stop worrying about the future. Of course, this does not mean that we should not plan for the future. However, planning is different from worrying. Do the best you can in the present moment, and stop being anxious about tomorrow.

People often spend their entire lives worrying over stuff that was not under their control anyway. Students worry about their grades, then they worry about their jobs, then making enough money, and so on and so forth. In any matter, people do not stop worrying. Towards the end of their lives, these people would realize how life went past them, and they could not really enjoy the moments.

Worry can often manifest itself in the form of physical maladies, such as high blood pressure, diabetes, even stomach ulcers. People who are too stressed can die young, compared to people who live stress-free lives. Thus, if you want to live longer and healthier, it is imperative to get rid of stress and worries.

 

2- Having Correct Facts And Seeing All Available Options Will Stop You From Worrying

If we want to get rid of our problems, it is essential to know more about them. For this, the first step is to get all the facts regarding the issue. Without knowing all the facts, we cannot solve the problem. We must not apply a short-cut method to get the facts but must think laboriously and determine all the relevant facts as thoroughly as possible. Once, you have got the facts regarding the problem, think of what you can do to solve it. Once you know what to do, get going as soon as possible. Through this method, you can systematically deal with all your problems.

Businessmen are especially prone to worries. They are at the peak of not stopping worrying. This usually happens when they are not getting the desired results. Instead of worrying they should see what the problem is. Secondly, they should analyze the main causes of the problem. Thirdly, they should chart out all the possible remedies for the problem. Fourthly, they should act on those remedies they just planned.

 

3- Keeping Yourself Busy Keeps The Worries Limited

One consistent way through which you can avoid anxiety is by keeping yourself busy. Psychology has proven that it is impossible for the human mind to completely focus on more than one thing. If you are busy doing something, you will not have time to worry. If not, your mind is in a state of vacuum. Naturally, something will fill this vacuum; this something is more likely than not to be “worry.”

If we keep ourselves busy (e.g., reading a book, or doing errands) then this state of vacuum will let not create itself, and we will stop worrying about ourselves. If you are already worried about something, think about a job or a chore that is necessary to do, and immerse yourself in it. Your worries will soon disappear.

Often, we can face significant problems in our lives bravely but get bogged down by trivial ones. People in dire situations are likely to complain, not of the dire situation itself, but of other trivialities. In fact, most marriages break down due to trivial differences and problems. If a person wants to be free of worries, he should not be concerned with trifles. Life is way too short for us to be worried about the little things. Most of us are concerned with things like getting cancer or getting in a fatal accident, etc.  However, statistics tell us that these things are very rare. In fact, stress due to worrying about these rare events is what afflicts most of us.

 

Role Of Emotions

When we are emotionally invested in something, its failure will bring us much sorrow. That is natural, but we must be able to put a stop loss of our feelings. We must ask ourselves, is it worth it to worry so much about that particular failure? If the answer is negative, then we must take the failure in our stride and march on to other things. If the past is what we are always concerned with, that concern is futile. What has happened is permanent; no amount of worrying will change it. Thus, we should be able to put the past aside and focus on our present lives.

 

4- Positive Attitude Is The Key To Happy Life

The great philosopher king-Marcus Aurelius, once said, “Our life is what our thoughts make it.” Thus, if we fill our minds with positivity, our lives will go positively. Conversely, if we fill our minds with worries and negativity, our lives will go badly. Thus, it is imperative to cultivate the right mental attitude. If we think and act cheerfully, we are bound to feel cheerful.

Whenever someone wrongs us, we feel this burning desire to take revenge. While this desire for vengeance is only natural, it will do us more harm than good. If someone cheats us or takes advantage of us or otherwise harms us, we should disassociate from him immediately. However, we should not bear a constant grudge against him. This grudge will fill up our minds and cause us unnecessary stress and maybe even other maladies. Thus, ultimately causing us even greater harm. As the great Second World War General Eisenhower said, don’t waste a minute thinking about people you do not like.

 

What Expectations Do

We should never expect gratitude on the part of the people whom we help. Of course, if we help someone they should feel grateful, but only sometimes do they express their gratitude. The expectation of gratitude can lead to disappointment. On the other hand, if we help someone without any expectations, we would not be affected by this. Moreover, if they do express their gratitude, we would feel pleasantly surprised.

Most of the things going in our lives are positive, and only a few are negative. We are always worried because we tend to focus on the wrong things, not the right stuff. Instead, if we focus on the good things in our lives, we would lead much fuller and happier lives. If things do go wrong, instead of worrying about it, we should make the best of the situation. Always remember the adage, “If life gives you lemons, make lemonades.”

Sometimes, we think that we are not good enough and others are better than us. This leads us to imitate others. However, this is not a good practice, since we can never be someone we are not. Instead, we should keep faith in ourselves and try to be our best selves. Sometimes, helping others goes a long way in improving our own mental condition. By seeing the smile on the face of others, we feel cheerful and happy.

 

5- Taking Criticism As A Compliment Stops Yourself From Worrying

Criticism can be hard to deal with, and we may feel bad about ourselves if others criticize us. This is especially true if the criticism is unjust and undeserving. However, one must remember that if we were not worthy enough, no one would bother to criticize us. Criticism is a sign that we are important enough to grab others’ attention and get slammed. We should see it, not as a negative, but as a positive. You should remember it not really like criticism but as a hidden compliment.

Some of us take criticism way too seriously. In fact, we take it even more seriously than the critic. However, in reality, most people are far more concerned about themselves to bother about you. As such, they may criticize you, but either they do not mean it much, or they will forget about it soon. You are the only one who is left with worries about the criticism. If you can ignore this or give it less weight, you will have peace of mind and be free of worries. This does not mean that you will be entirely ignorant about criticism, since constructive criticism does play a positive role, but you should not get so obsessed with it that it hampers your life and your peace of mind.

The importance of constructive criticism cannot be overstated. Through criticism, we can improve ourselves. As such, we should firstly keep a note of all the wrongs and mistakes we have committed, to not do them again. Secondly, we should seek honest and healthy criticism from others about ourselves. This will greatly help in self-improvement.

 

6- Take Necessary Pauses To Relax And Avoid Tiredness

Fatigue is often the cause of worries and stress, and as such, we must know how to get rid of it. Firstly, we must give our bodies adequate rest. Most people rest when they are tired. However, this is not the right practice, since your body should not ideally feel tired at all. You should rest at regular intervals to make sure you do not feel tired in the first place. Most people get very tired while working.

You should take a few minutes off and relax at your workplace. The same is true of housewives, who have to do considerable amounts of work at home. Housewives should take care of their health by resting adequately and not overworking themselves.

We should be well-organized so that we do not spend all our energy trying to make sense of the clutter. Our workstation should be as clean and organized as possible. We should have a clear to-do list for all jobs assigned according to priority. Delaying solving a problem that is easy to solve immediately will complicate matters. You should be as enthusiastic about your work as you can. If you do not like what you do, you will get tired very easily.

 

7- Keep Doing Things Which Keep You Happy

For most of us, choosing a career path is one of the most important choices we’ll take. Due to extreme specialization in the modern world, it is quite difficult (though not impossible) to take an entirely different path midway. As such, this choice is more important than ever. Also, most people have to make this choice at a rather young age, after finishing high school.

There are several things to consider while making the choice. For example, are you really interested in the field you want to go to? Do you have what it takes to succeed in the field? Is the field overcrowded? Will it be easy or difficult to get a job once you graduate? If you are of average ability, how much are you expecting to earn? You should take all these things into account while making the choice.

If you are still not sure, ask someone in the same field as you want to pursue. Talk to him as to how his life and work are like. Once you have gathered enough information, you’ll be able to make an informed decision. Most importantly, always remember that it isn’t true that you can only succeed in a single profession; there may be several fields in which you can succeed. Thus, it is important to consider whether you’ll be happy in the field you want to pursue.

 

Conclusion Of Stop Worrying And Start Living

If you are still not sure, ask someone in the same field as you want to pursue. Talk to him as to how his life and work are like. Once you have gathered enough information, you’ll be able to make an informed decision. Most importantly, always remember that it isn’t true that you can only succeed in a single profession; there may be several fields in which you can succeed. Thus, it is important to consider whether you’ll be happy in the field you want to pursue.

That’s all about: How to stop worrying and start living. All of us worry. Many physical illnesses are actually caused by stress and worries. However, there are several ways through which we could get rid of our worries. Firstly, we should focus on the present instead of being overly concerned about the past or the future. If a problem is bothering us, we should first accurately define what the problem is, then gather all the relevant facts, and finally go about solving it.

Unjust criticism can be hurtful, but one shouldn’t take such criticism seriously. Always remember that the person criticizing you will forget about it after some time, so why should you be so concerned? That being said, always take the help of constructive criticism to make yourself a better person.